Andrew finished putting wood on the fire, and sat down. His sabbath preparations were now complete, but his mind was troubled.

“Do you remember when you first realized he was the Messiah?” Andrew asked John.

“Why do you ask?”

“Someone asked me today how I knew for sure that Jesus was the Messiah.” Andrew replied. “I can’t remember not knowing that. My parents were believers. It cost my mother and brothers their lives. Even then, my father never questioned it. He knew it as certainly as he knew the sun would rise. He had met Jesus personally, and it changed his life. It cost him again and again. When death came for him, he greeted it, ready to meet Jesus once again. . . I don’t know what it’s like not to believe. . . I just wonder what that moment must have been like when you looked at Jesus and said ‘he really is the Messiah’.”

“You are so much like the man whose name you bear, always thinking and questioning. You know that it was Andrew that first led us to him. Andrew may have been a fisherman by trade, but his mind was always on other things. When John came preaching and baptizing, Andrew hung on every word. He never stopped telling us the Messiah was coming, the Kingdom of God was near. He was so excited. Everyone wanted the Messiah to come, and the message stirred hope in all of us. The Messiah would set us free from Rome. Still, when Andrew came running up to the boat one day, exclaiming ‘we have found the messiah’ we were all skeptical.

“Many false Messiahs had risen and fallen.” Andrew added. “And some of them were kings with armies at their command. All were disappointments. What convinced you that he was really the Messiah?”
“We went to listen to his teaching, and we saw him drive out a spirit from a man. We even saw him heal Peter’s mother-in-law from a terrible fever. I think even then we weren’t completely convinced.”

“And . . . ?” Andrew pressed.

“It was the fish. I know I’ve told you this story before. It had been one of those wasted days. We had fished all day, and had caught nothing. It is so disheartening to work so long and hard, and have nothing to show for it. We all just wanted to go home, but we still had to clean our nets. I felt sorry for Peter when Jesus asked to use his boat to speak to the crowd. My brother James, my father, and the rest of the men went about cleaning the nets, but we could hear Jesus teaching while we worked. Then he finished, and I heard him tell Peter to let his nets down for a catch. I was so glad that Jesus hadn’t climbed in my boat. Poor Peter and his men would have to start cleaning their nets all over again. I heard Peter say, ‘Master because you say so, I will do it.’, and even today, I’m not so sure I would have had the same answer. I was tired, frustrated, and done with fishing. But Peter obeyed, and it changed all our lives. All of a sudden, they all started yelling for help, and we headed out to see what was going on. The fish filled their boat and ours too. I just stood there and stared at the hundreds of flopping fish, and I knew. In the other boat, Peter was on his knees in front of Jesus. We headed to shore, and neither James nor I spoke. I watched my father and the other men readying the catch for market. I think somehow I knew that this was no longer my world. When we reached the shore, Jesus came up to the boat, Peter and Andrew behind him. He simply said ‘follow me’. James and I hugged our father, and without a word, we passed our rights as sons on to the hired men. From that day on, we were followers of Jesus. We were – believers.”
“Did you ever have doubts after that?”

“I don’t think I would say we had doubts. We never fully understood. We were constantly amazed at the things Jesus did because we just couldn’t grasp fully who he was, or what that meant. We really didn’t get it until after he came back. I was there at the foot of the cross when he died; and I was there when he came back. He didn’t just ‘get better’. He had been tortured beyond belief, he had bled out, and he had died. But then he was in front of us, scarred, but healed. We could never ‘not believe’ again. That is why Andrew, James, and the others faced death rather than stop spreading the message. That is why your father never lost faith, even though it cost him dearly. When you encounter a risen Jesus, life is never the same.

“I do believe.” Andrew said, “And my life is devoted to spreading the message. But sometimes it’s just hard to explain why I believe to people. The messiah came, but they killed him. If he came back, why are we still subject to Rome? It’s hard to make people understand that he is coming back again. If he is powerful enough to rise from the dead, why not overthrow Rome now? Why wait? Why allow all this suffering to continue? These are questions that I just don’t have answers for.”

“Jesus told us not to worry about what we would say. We don’t have all the answers. We are not God. He will give you the words you need. Many people will never believe. Jesus made that clear. Andrew, it is your job to tell people. It is not your job to make them believe. That is between them, and God himself. Always remember that Jesus taught us not to carry burdens that we were not expected to carry. Do your part, my child. You can be certain that God will do his.”

“It is hard to have the words of life, and have so many people reject the message.”

“Andrew, how fitting that it is time for the sabbath, a gift from God to us. Rest now. Rest your mind. Let go of the burdens you were not meant to carry, and be at peace.”

“And peace to you, John.”